my last entry for a while...

this will be my last entry for a while, because I am moving tomorrow, and I will have no internet.

God bless,

-austin

Written 3/31/07

Jesus, to You I surrender;

I will no longer meander.

I give to You my passions

And all my unduly attractions.

Help me along the way

By Your side close to stay.

To You my life I yield

That I may be healed

From the inside out

Without a doubt.

Deep within I long

That my life song

May bring healing

Where the enemy has been stealing

From my friends and my enemies;

I have the cure for the disease.

How dare I be silent

When everything around me is becoming violent.

All around me masses are teeming,

Multitudes are screaming

For a way out of the dark!

My life is the spark... that can bring light.

Rather than see souls cry,

I desire to die

In their place so they can live

And learn how to forgive.

But for now I live

So I can give

you my all

Before I crawl... into my Master's arms forever.

See? you are why I remain;

For you I must obstain

From the ways of the world

So I can lead you to my Lord.

Here is my hand;

Take it, for we will escape this land

And run to higher ground

Where we might be found

By my Father the King

Who wants to bless us with everything. 

Written 4/1/07

How I long by Your arms to be wrapped around;

By all the strength of Your love surround.

Your word to me in this season is "wait."

How how it is that word I tend to hate!

But here I am to take;

Myself into Your image make.

You lived and died and rose again to me relate;

I choose to obey Your Word and my path will be straight.

None else I desire

Except to be consumed by Your holy fire.

Your guidings I will allow

And at Your feet I bow.

To You I yield

That I might be filled with all that You are!

I am here to lay down my rights

And to let You change my sights -

To You now I look

For on the cross my sins You took.

You see me as Your own;

Not as a weakling but grown.

You have fashioned me as Your own

And now I come boldly to the throne.

Written 4/3/07

I am here to lay myself on the altar;

In doing so I know I cannot falter.

Before You I expose my passions

And attractions to worldy fashions.

Oh God, renew my heart!

I ask You for a fresh start.

I long to have Your eyes

That penetrate beyond every disguise.

Forgive me for viewing things through my eyes

Instead of waiting on You who is All-Wise.

I no longer will jump ahead

But by Your Spirit I will be led.

For You I will patiently wait;

Truly You alone can open the gate.

She, You

She amazes me.

We are so close yet so far:

 Who knows where we are.

Yet You hold the key.

Your Word is true.

 Often I seek

for her to keep

But I don't have a clue

About what to do.

Oh how I need You to guide me in the night;

Down this long and weary path,

I don't know how to do my math -

Which step should I take?

Will it be make or break?

Oh I need You to be my light!

Patience is what I need

She is worth the wait

But  could it be too late?

I would hate to think so

As I delight in her glow;

Yet I need You to feed me,

 I cannot depend on her, indeed.

Oh how sweet is Your love!

It is You alone I crave

Yet how often I misbehave

And stray from heaven above.

Hold me in Your arms

Your peace leaves no room for alarms.

How vain I be to seek charms

In hope that they will dispel all harms.

Oh I need You!

It is so very true.

Your face I long to seek;

As I do so I will become meek.

I am here to say

That everyday

I will trust You

Even when I don't have a clue.

You are my way.

I will walk through;

By faith I will say

I will trust You

Even when I don't know what to do.

My life is for You alone!

No other will ever have the throne

Of my heart and my soul

I give You complete control.

I lay my all at Your feet

And I take my place in the seat

You have assigned for me,

A position most heavenly.

My crown I will lay

at Your feet as I say,

Holy Holy Holy,

Lord God Almighty

Who was and is and is to come.

This is my song for eternity.

I am my Lord's and He is mine.

What a beautiful love!

Oh so beautiful

Oh so beautiful!

Nothing can ever compare

To the fiery love I encounter

As I gaze into Your precious face.

Oh so beautiful!

Words can never describe

The soothing feel of Your touch

And the sound of Your voice.

Oh so beautiful!

Nothing is more intimate

Than to hear Your heartbeat

And to feel it penetrate all that I am.

Oh so beautiful!

I am speechless in describing

The intensity of Your power

And the perfect peace found in Your presence.

Oh so beautiful!

May I ever be captivated by who You are dear Jesus.

Oh so beautiful - I crave to know You.

You are so captivating

You take away the very air I breathe

And You become it to me.

You are my chemical.

The fragrance of Your presence tantalizes me;

I could live off of it.

How I long for You to feed it to me!

Your love pierces the depths of my soul.

You gaze into every cell of my body;

I am bare before You.

Such an amazing romance.

Zane Daniel Newsom

Zane Newsom, 14 years of age, died Saturday night in a 4-wheeler accident about half a mile up the road from my house.

I knew him because his grandparents live next door to me and I used to hang out with him.

I pray that I will never forget that night for as long as I live. I had gone to bed early (8:30 or so) because I had not had much sleep the night before and had been in Dallas all day, and also because we were losing an hour that night because of the time change. Somewhere around 9:00 I started hearing sirens. That is very unusual, considering where I live. Every now and then I hear a highway patrol chasing a drunk driver. In fact, twice now they have crashed into our neighbor's mailbox. One time the guy came into our yard and almost took out some trees, and another time this other guy took out some fence on the other side of my house. I was awakened by the sirens, and I could tell that they were actually fire truck sirens. I figured there must be a fire somewhere.. so I stayed in bed a few moments longer. The firetrucks kept flying by, and their lights were shining into my window. I had this uneasy feeling deep within me. I knew this was no small occurrence - something or someone was in grave danger.

I got out of bed and put my contacts back in and went outside. I looked up the road and saw alot of flashing lights and vehicles. I jumped in my Z and drove up the road to see what was going on. I discovered no fire, and thought that quite strange considering there were probably four fire trucks that had been down there. I came back home, sensing something on the inside of me. I tried to push the incident out of my mind as nothing serious until the next morning at church when I was informed that my friend Zane had been killed the night before. I received more details as the day progressed and put 2 and 2 together. I was in shock, and then the shock turned into being heartbroken. He was so young...

I went to the family visitation on Tuesday night and there were ALOT of people there - alot of people who I knew, even more who I did not know. I did not attend the funeral on Wednesday because I was working out of town (it was my birthday and I was also getting a stereo put in my car). As I approached home that afternoon, I saw a group of like 15 cars turn off of highway 19-24 and i followed them to McDonald Cemetery. I was not sure if that was where Zane was being laid to rest or not so I went on home. I had been home about 5 mins before I saw a highway patrol lead a 2-mile funeral procession right in front of my house. I decided to follow all of the cars so I got at the end of the line and went back up the road and past the place he breathed his last to the gravesight. There were alot of people there, in that cemetery in the middle of nowhere. Many were in tears. It broke my heart to see all of the young people who were grieving.

I was also grieving and still am. I haven't taken a death this hard since that of my youthpastor Mike a year and a half ago.

The thing I know is that Zane was a strong believer and follower of Jesus Christ. As he lay dying, he wore a shirt which read "Living Sacrifice."

He died the way I want to - with many people touched and changed forever, and a myriad of wonderful memories.

People were grieving over his death - but I am beginning to see something greater that should break out hearts.

Millions are dying on the inside every second. Some are barely holding on, and some have given up hope.

 It is time that we as followers of Jesus Christ begin to rise to the occasion and pray, and allow the Holy Spirit to grieve for the lost and dying souls of people all around us.

Who can tell when the last time will be that we will see someone? Whether we know them well or not doesn't matter. What matters is that we hold inside of us the LIFE that they are so hungry and desperate to receive.

God help us. Maranatha.

-austin